Best “Beetlejuice” Quote
Upon its release in March 1988, Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice became an instant comedy classic. The macabre romp delighted audiences and critics alike with its out-there concepts, imaginative effects, and its cackle-inducing script, written by Michael McDowell and Warren Skaaren. Beetlejuice is one of the most original film concepts of the late 20th century, so of course it was then mined for an animated series, video games, action figures, and a Broadway musical. Now in 2024, the sequel film Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice is due to emerge from the cinema Netherwold in just a few weeks. So join us as the Great Pop Culture Debate turns on the juice and sees what shakes loose as we determine the Best Beetlejuice Quote.
Join Host Eric Rezsnyak and panelists Bob Erlenback, Jim Czadzeck, and Michael Schwarz as they turn on the juice and see what shakes loose while discussing the best Beetlejuice quote of all time.
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Round 1 Match-Ups:
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Match-Up 1:
“Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?”
VS.
“OH BOY! You guys are really a couple of spooksters, aren’t ya? Now. Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose?”
Match-Up 2:
“I am…alone. I am…utterly…alone. By the time you read this, I will be gone. Having jumped – having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge…”
VS.
“Whew! Thank you! Thank you. *That* is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won’t. I won’t do ‘em. Well! What have we got here tonight, kids?”
Match-Up 3:
“I don’t see anything about heaven OR hell. This book reads like stereo instructions…”
VS.
“Because if I tell you, you’ll tell your friends, your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.”
Match-Up 4:
“I’m feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It’s been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action…”
VS.
“[CHARLES]As soon as we get settled, we’ll build you a darkroom in the basement, okay?
[LYDIA] My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.”
Match-Up 5:
“Woah, sandworms! You hate ‘em, right? I hate ‘em myself.”
VS.
“[LYDIA] Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?
[BETELGEUSE] Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.
[LYDIA] Of course they’re dead. They’re ghosts.
[BETELGEUSE] No, I mean they’re gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased...
[LYDIA] Are you a ghost, too?
[BETELGEUSE] I’m a ghost with the most, babe.”
Match-Up 6:
“Attention K-Mart shoppers! Well, I’m back. I feel real good about myself. You know what I mean? So! Without further delay. Welcome to Winter River Museum and Natural Green. A monument to the bored businessman. Come on and get a little closer. Step right up, test your strength!”
VS.
“Nice fuckin’ model! *honk honk*”
Match-Up 7:
“[ADAM] You can see us without the sheets?
[LYDIA] Of course I can see you.
[ADAM] Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?
[LYDIA] Well, I’ve read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. It says, ‘Live people ignore the strange and unusual.’ I myself am strange and unusual.”
VS.
“You read my mind. So few clients are able to read my mind. They’re just not open to the experience.”
Match-Up 8:
“I’m here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole. But I must express myself. If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!”
VS.
“This is what happens when *you* die. That is what happens when *he* dies. And that is what happens when *they* die. It’s all very personal. And I’ll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now...I wouldn’t have had my little ‘accident.’”
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EPISODE CREDITS
Host: Eric Rezsnyak
Panel: Bob Erlenback, Jim Czadzeck, Michael Schwarz
Producer: Curtis Creekmore
Editors: Eric Rezsnyak
