RECAP: “Survivor 47” Episode 4
I’m officially puting “Survivor 47” on notice. It’s got two more episodes, and if I don’t feel significantly better about this season, I’m calling it quits. I’m not kidding. I’m ready to walk away.
I have watched every single season of “Survivor,” and I just don’t know if I can make it through this one. I’ve noted in previous blogs that a casting theme for this season appears to be antisocial or poorly socialized young men. Totally relevant to the times in which we live. Unfortunately, what I didn’t count on was those players prospering. And I am increasingly concerned that is what we’re getting. There are at least two players who raise my blood pressure on an episodic basis, and I fear they are in it for the long haul.
The world is a difficult enough place right now. The world is a negative enough place right now. There are a great many things in my life that cause me stress and infuriate me that I can’t control. One thing I can control is what entertainment programming I watch. Tonight’s Episode 4 was not enjoyable to watch. Some of the behavior in tonight’s episode went beyond merely upsetting and crossed a line into offensive to watch. I am not going to reward behavior that I find to be morally reprehensible, and right now, that’s what it feels like this season is doing.
So two episodes, “Survivor.” Two episodes to get at least one of your bad-egg man babies out. Or I’m done with this season.
Read on for my spoiler-filled thoughts on Episode 4 of “Survivor 47”!
TUKU (Blue Tribe)
The big news from Tuku this week is Sue, who gave us some terrific “Survivor” moments both intentionally and not. First, Sue informed us that she thinks she has convinced her tribe members that she is a mere 45 years old. With all due respect, Sue, I do not believe there is any reality in which that is the case. She’s in terrific shape for ANY age, but…come on. 45?! Sue.
But the big Sue news is that she found a Beware Advantage, with a map to a vine that she had to cut down for her prize. This all went alarmingly smoothly — literally nobody was around at camp for a prolonged period of time? — until she cut the cord, sending a bunch of coconuts smashing to the ground. And those coconuts were filled with red paint. Ah, the old “red-handed” idol twist. Diabolical!
To her credit, Sue realized that she had to very quickly clean up the mess, because it would be obvious to anyone who spotted it that SOMEONE had found some kind of advantage. So Sue got to work quickly burying the bulk of the paint with sand and leaves, and then washing as much as she could off of her body. Except she didn’t do a great job — there were red splashes all over her chin and in her hair, which were instantly clocked by Tiyana after she and Caroline reemerged from their walk. They asked Sue if she was OK, Sue made up a few wholly unconvincing lies — “I was playing with the machete…but I didn’t cut myself”; “I bit the inside of my cheek bad.” Sue genuinely seemed to think she got away with all of it without anyone suspecting. Sure, Sue. About as convincing as you being 45. To Sue’s credit, for all of this she got a fully empowered idol good until Final 5. That’s a hell of an advantage this early in the game.
After the challenge, Caroline was drafted by the winning team to go on the Journey. Caroline is probably the least-explored castaway this season, but what we’ve seen of her paints a picture of a no-nonsense, strategic player, and that’s what we got here. She stopped the other Journey members before they launched into the task and pumped them for info/set up soft alliances for post-merge. That’s a pretty basic move, but it seemed the other two weren’t even thinking about it. The test was that one of the three had to voluntarily give up their next vote at tribal and they would all three get an advantage. If nobody volunteered to give up immunity, they ALL lost their votes. Caroline, who is the least endangered of the three on that beach, absolutely refused to even consider giving up her vote. She was rewarded with an absurdly large amulet idol, about which we’ll say more in a minute.
GATA (Yellow Tribe)
Over on Gata, the tribe is simultaneously thriving, and preparing for implosion. This episode really hammered home that there are various obvious cracks in the Gata firmament, and it’s going to get ugly the next time they go tribal.
Andy continues to be the Bad News Bear of “Survivor,” this time with his Shot In the Dark tumbling out of his bag at camp, and him not even knowing it. We also got a whole montage of him flailing about tribe life, generally cocking everything up. Sam calls him the “George Costanza of ‘Survivor,’” which I guess means he flops at pretty much everything but somehow keeps staying afloat?
Sam is convinced that he needs Andy to stay in the game as long as possible. Not on board with this: Sam’s alleged No. 1 Sierra, who wants Andy out next, especially after Andy got her to give him information about the all-girls alliance — The Bread Winners — which Andy then immediately told Sam. Sierra was justifiably pissed at Andy betraying her trust, but Sam was equally pissed that Sierra did not tell him about the closeness of this alliance herself. Sierra was completely missing Sam’s point, saying over and over that she didn’t come up with the alliance or the name. That’s literally irrelevant. The issue was, she had key information about the tribe she wasn’t sharing to her supposed No. 1, and that put her on the outs with Sam.
The thing is, it seems like she has an easier rapport with Rachel and Anika. There’s less drama in that threesome than there is in the Sierra/Sam/Andy triangle. But Sierra is also pretty clearly on the bottom of The Bread Winners. I suspect she’s going to be the one who has to pick a side at the next tribal, because at this point the lines are pretty clearly drawn between the genders. (I am 100 percent on Team Bread Winners here, or to be more specific, Team Not Andy.)
In good news, Gata came in first in the immunity challenge for the second time in a row, and the reward was three egg-laying chickens. The first time we’ve had chickens since pre-Season 40, I think! Sam wanted to kill at least one for meat, but Sierra wouldn’t hear it, because she goes on wine tastings (?) and feeds chickens (??). Guys, I’m not sure Sierra is a strong strategic thinker. Also, who made that chicken cage? Those holes were so big the chickens were literally squeezing out.
Andy was the Gata member picked for the Journey, and in typical Andy fashion, he completely flubbed it. He refused to give any information on his tribe, saying, “Oh, if you want intel, come find me after the merge.” Way to build trust there, dude. Andy also refused to give up his vote, stating that he was on the bottom of his tribe. Which is kind of accurate, but not really; the larger issue is, he was in no danger that night. But he still refused to budge.
When they got their amulet idols — which must be played together on the same person for however many are left — Andy told the other players, “We need to use these to work together, not to screw with each other!” Why would ANYONE believe or trust Andy about ANYTHING after his public hatchet job on Jon after the first elimination challenge? Am I taking crazy pills?! Prediction: Andy will absolutely use his amulet to fuck over one or both of the other amulet holders post-merge. And it’ll be for an unbelievably bad move that only benefits him. Just you watch.
LAVO (Red Tribe)
My partner and I are now engaging in intense debates over whether or not to fast forward through the Lavo scenes. That’s how much we literally cannot stand to watch this tribe. And it’s not just one person. At this point the only Lavo member I have any positive feelings toward is Sol. I’m genuinely deeply concerned about his safety in this game, so I guess that’s good work on the editors’ parts. But I need him to get off this viper-pit of a tribe as fast as possible. As a viewer, I don’t know how he could stand being around these people.
I had previously said that I had almost no sense of Genevieve as a player. After this episode, I see her pretty clearly. She is smart, she is strategic, but she is falling into the trap that so many Nu “Survivor” players fall into — she’s playing a Final 4 game on Day 9. They all play so hard so fast, and focus on taking out big threats early in the game, which leaves us tribes full of unlikable or incompetent players. After 6 seasons, it’s getting tired generally. And this season, it’s unbearable.
Because Rome IS unbearable. I have not disliked a “Survivor” player this much in literally years. If he was simply a jackass, it would be one thing. But Rome is so much worse than that. He is a fucking asshole, pure and simple. His treatment of Sol this episode was disgusting. And not just once! On at least two occasions his behavior toward that man became openly disrespectful, bordering on hostile.
Since Rome wasted his one-time-use idol at the last tribal, the whole tribe was on the idol hunt. Nobody needed that idol more than Sol, who was very much on the outs and knew it. We have seen defensive idol hunting before; even this season, Gata had people taking turns babysitting Andy to keep him from getting his hands on one. But Rome took it to a whole other level, absolutely refusing to leave Sol’s presence, and getting indignant when Sol asked him for a few moments of privacy. My blood was boiling watching this, and all I could think was, “How would Rome be reacting if the roles were reversed? How would Rome take someone literally stalking him and badgering him around camp?” He would lose it. He would have an absolute temper tantrum. You know it’s true.
And then, a truly pathetic performance on the immunity-challenge puzzle, in which Rome failed to place even one piece before both other tribes had finished (after all starting at roughly the same time). Afterward, Rome went to Sol and directly threatened the man — vote with me, or I will use my Steal-a-Vote advantage and take your Shot in the Dark, leaving you completely powerless. Sol called him out for the threat, and Rome responded, “It’s not a threat. It’s an ultimatum.”
Rome stuck to that defense this episode. So, to be pedantic, we looked up the definition of the word “ultimatum.” Per Wikipedia, an ultimatum is “a demand whose fulfillment is requested in a specified period of time and which is backed up by a threat to be followed through in case of noncompliance.” Note the word “threat” in that definition. Rome threatened that man. Publicly. On camera. It was appalling to watch. It literally still makes me angry to think about.
For a brief, glorious moment, it seemed that Rome’s tribe mates had recognized that Rome is, basically, awful. He’s not just annoying, he’s also a fucking sociopath. So Kishan launched a plan with Genevieve to take him out at tribal, and I thought that the Rome Hubris Project would actually have a happy ending (for the viewers).
But then two things happened. First, Teeny was the Lavo tribe member sent on the Journey, and as has now become de riguer for Teeny in this game, she fucked up. I have lost count of the number of unforced errors Teeny has made, and it’s Episode 4. I was so excited at first to watch her play, and she has been a disaster — I can’t support her anymore. I give up. You know you’re going to tribal that night and you cave into peer pressure to give up your vote so others won’t? I understand that the alternative was that you all lose your votes, but that’s when you play chicken because you lose either way. I guarantee you if it came down to a few grains of sand left in that hourglass, Caroline at least would have budged. She’s strategic and tough, but she’s not dumb enough to fuck her game out of pride. Andy is a complete wild card. Who knows what the fuck that guy would do. Maybe he’d eat the hourglass.
The second, worse thing, is that Rome shared with Genevieve that while cementing his plan to take out Sol with Kishan, Kishan floated Genevieve as the decoy name, which — an important point — Rome easily agreed to. Genevieve didn’t like Kishan putting out her name, and that combined with the Rome vote being Kishan’s idea, made Genevieve decide that she needed to take out Kishan now, because he would be a big threat later. Please see my earlier analysis of Genevieve playing endgame in the first quarter.
At tribal, we got more of The Rome Show, where Rome apologized to Sol if he “came off disrespectful” — yeah, you came off disrespectful because you were disrespectful. In absolutely no reality is his behavior acceptable, except to the people of this tribe, because “it’s a game” and they’re all fucking assholes. Speaking of, Kishan sat there with that smug little look on his face for the bulk of tribal, clearly thinking he was the master manipulator and taking this moral highground, when earlier in the day he just blatantly told Rome that he was cool with Rome threatening Sol with his advantage (which did in fact end up happening).
I’d like to speak for the entire gay community here when I say, Fuck you, Kishan. I know that a recurring theme of this season — even this episode — is, “It’s just a game. We all know we’re playing a game. And you have to be cool with whatever happens because it’s a game.” But as a gay man yourself, especially from a minority community, you — a person — are on national TV telling a man that you are comfortable with him bullying another man to advance your personal goals. That is appalling. “It’s just a game!” Great. Tell that to the gay kids watching “Survivor” who get bullied in school by guys who do it just because they can. Because that’s exactly what Rome was doing to Sol. And you endorsed it. On national television. What a role model.
And so it was actually QUITE satisfying to watch Kishan’s smug, gaslighting face completely drop when Rome announced he was playing his Steal-a-Vote…on Kishan. Because Genevieve had run to Rome, told him the plan to get him out, and redirected Rome’s target to Kishan. She also tried to get Sol to turn his vote onto Kishan, which Sol refused to do because he’s too busy being constantly bitten on the dick by the tick of a person that is Rome.
That all changed at tribal, when Rome made his second grand performance in a row, playing that Steal a Vote. Teeny, powerless due to her own lack of spine, sat there gobsmacked as her No. 1 got gutted before her. Sol openly said, “I don’t know what to do” after Rome made his move, but ultimately it was a unanimous 4 votes (Teeny had no vote, Kishan’s vote was added to Rome’s, and Genevieve and Sol each got one) to eliminate Kishan. He seemed genuinely stunned and depressed that he’d been found out and played out so quickly. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving player.
Oh, wait, yes it could — Rome could have gone home tonight. And nobody is more smug and condescending than that guy. And the fact that this tribe — really, just Genevieve — refuses to cut him loose solely for her own benefit is making this season pretty toxic. It’s not fun to watch this guy peacock at camp and berate his tribe members every episode. His delusions are not charming, they’re exasperating. There is a whole segment of our culture that rewards young men for behaving like nuisances in public, and Rome feels very much cut of that cloth. And I’m done with it. On behalf of a sane, respectful society: we are done. Stop being a dick. Suck one instead. It’ll improve your general demeanor, I promise. But this season seems hellbent on rewarding that type of guy. And if that’s the way you want it, show, you can do it without me.
Two episodes. That’s it.
What do you think of Season 47 so far? What do you think of this cast? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
