After a variety show with very little variety, a winner is crowned on “All Stars 9,” and controversy has already erupted.

A satisfying LaLaPaRuZa lipsync smackdown leads to a frontrunner emerging, some songs getting redemption, and a hairwhipping good time.

“All Stars 9” gives us one of the best Rusicals in “Drag Race” herstory, as nearly every queen rises to the challenge of “Rosemarie’s Baby Shower.”

The queens design looks based on RuPaul’s songs in the least-essential challenge of the season.

There’s a meeting in the ladies room. TINA! Bring me…the camp acting challenge.

The queens engage in a roast, and at least one of them is getting roasted for grand theft punchline.

It’s time for parody commercials, and while most of the teams did well — some even great — the girls were girling, and we got some drama, mama. Plus: The Teletubbies finally arrive to teleport us to Mars.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 9” girl-group makeover gives us nonsensical judging, some hot firefighters, and a track that sets our pussies on fire.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 9” Snatch Game gives us dueling Liberaces, some stunning flops, and one of the worst lipsynchs in “Drag Race” herstory.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 9” begins with TWO new episodes featuring the Girl Group and Paint Ball challenges!

A recap of the Fame Games talent show!