RECAP: The Traitors (U.S.) Season 3, Episode 9
I’ve spent a good chunk of the past (very frigid) several days watching the previous two seasons of The Traitors. I had seen a few episodes of Season 2 when it first aired, and none of Season 1. As I watched the previous seasons, one thing became glaringly obvious: Season 3 sucks. I had that opinion watching it on its own, but now having the previous iterations with which to compare it? My god, this season is terrible.
I blame this on two fundamental issues, each of them gamebreaking on their own:
The Faithful have been, for the most part, utterly useless. I have been stunned watching the Round Tables in seasons 1 and 2. They were dynamic! People were making good arguments or passionate defenses, and more than once things got spicy as players found their necks on the line. The only times I can recall that happening in Season 3 were when Traitor was going after Traitor — “Boston” Rob attacking Bob the Drag Queen, and then Danielle gunning for Carolyn. The Faithful have almost never risen to the occasion this season.
In fact, most of them have been pathetic. That’s been the case for weeks, but just looking at the handful left, you have two absolute nonentities (Lord Ivar Mountbatten and Gabby Windey — might as well be empty chairs), two comically inept Bravolebrities (Tom Sandoval and Dolores Catania, utterly obsessed with themselves and clueless about the game they’re nine episodes into playing), someone who is clearly just kicking back until the prize round (Britney Haynes), and only one who is actually trying (Dylan Efron, the clear breakout star of this season).
I hope the casting team is taking notes on how badly they fucked up this group, and producers are figuring out how to keep some rails on the key castings. So many of the gamers and big personalities were pitched super early. Had Tony Vlachos, Jeremy Collins, Wes Bergmann, and even Dorinda Medley made it to the back half, I think we would have had a wildly different outcome. At least 1/3 of this cast was checked out before they even walked up to the castle. As it stands, we’ve been stuck with a bunch of non-players content to collect an appearance fee for the bulk of this season. Boring and, honestly, a total waste of everyone’s time.
The Traitors have been completely incapable of working together. Right from the start, Carolyn Wiger was being sidelined even when it was just Bob the Drag Queen and Danielle Reyes. There wasn’t real consensus, just coercion. Once “Boston” Rob came in, he just completely dominated the group and dictated all moves until his inevitable vote out. Since then, Carolyn and Danielle have been wholly unable to operate as a unit, specifically because they clearly hate each others’ guts. I don’t blame Carolyn, by the way. Danielle really was gunning for her VERY early in the game, trying to engineer what was clearly always her endgame — which itself is deeply stupid! — that we saw come to fruition this episode. Danielle complained about how stubborn Carolyn was, and how she refused to listen. But Danielle’s plans were often stupid, or obvious moves to advance only HER game, not the TRAITORS. So Carolyn may have been obstinant, but only because she saw, correctly, that Danielle was NEVER playing this as a group competition. A Big Brother contestant fucking up a show with their malignant narcissism and hyper-competitiveness? Must be every reality show crossover in which they’ve been cast, ever!
This season has been a slog. This episode was painful, but inevitable. I long for it all to be over, and I can’t believe we allegedly have three more episodes of this. Read on for my takes on Episode 9 of The Traitors Season 3. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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Picking up from last episode’s cliffhanger, Traitors Danielle and Carolyn had to decide whether to perform another murder, OR to “seduce” a Faithful to the dark side by pitching them an opportunity to join the Traitors. Danielle was gung-ho to go with seduction, specifically so she could get her Big Brother frienemy Britney into the turret. Carolyn was having none of that, because: Fucking Duh. This is exactly what I’m talking about. It benefitted Carolyn not at all to add Britney into the Traitor dynamic, as all that would happen would be Danielle and Britney steamrolling Carolyn and then sacrificing her to get to the finale with the reputation of being Traitor hunters. It could not be more obvious, and it’s frankly astonishing that Danielle even thought she had a prayer of pushing that through.
When Carolyn refused, an exasperated Danielle then conceded to go for murder. As she listed out names, Carolyn again reacted intensely, which led Danielle to hem and haw until she “placated” Carolyn by going with famous ex and 100 percent hot piece Sam Asghari. I thought it was interesting that both the Traitors and the Faithful the next morning at breakfast mentioned that Sam had been basically silent for the bulk of the game, and had only recently started to speak up about theories. We saw that in action last episode, and I wondered if perhaps he had been vocal all along, but it was edited out because there were other “characters” they wanted to focus on. Apparently not. For his part, Sam was unbothered about being eliminated. Probably because he didn’t give a single fuck about this game. He was here to raise his public profile, and mission accomplished on that front.
The mission this episode was fun in concept, but — like most of this season’s missions — a bit of a dud in practice. The night before, the Traitors had to fill out a four-question survey assigning roles to the remaining cast members — the most under-the-radar, the biggest threat, the mousiest. At a giant chessboard, the players would all have to come to a consensus on who the Traitors would put in those categories, and for each correct answer they would earn money for the prize pot. And for some reason, previous-season Traitors Parvati Shallow and Kate Chastain were brought back in, in outrageous dresses, to supervise. Always glad to see Parvati, great frocks, but ultimately kind of a pointless cameo.
The game provided a few notable moments. First, it was another in the unending string of Tom Sandoval humiliations, as Tom put forward his name for virtually every category. Everyone pointed and laughed, as they should. But most importantly, it gave the Faithful a chance to get insight into how the Traitors view the game…and handed one of the Traitors ample ammunition to kneecap their partner/competition.
Because Danielle did a brilliant job setting up Carolyn here, both in the answers they put down the night before, and in allowing Carolyn to draw attention to herself during the chess game itself. I don’t like Danielle. At all. I think she’s a phony. I think she’s completely up her own ass when it comes to strategy. I think she is a massive asshole, and I REALLY dislike it when she plays the victim card, because her behavior is not extending her that kind of credit. However, credit where it is due, she got Carolyn good here. I didn’t fully understand how the not one but TWO answers being Britney “helped” Danielle’s game — Britney is somehow both the most under-the-radar player, but also the biggest threat to the Traitors? How does that make sense? — but Carolyn putting herself down as the player who is the least heard was a massive tactical error, and Danielle saw it for exactly that. Carolyn also made unforced errors at the chess game, overplaying her hand and speaking way too forcefully on decisions that implicated her as a Traitor.
After the game, the real crux of the episode — arguably this act of the season — coalesced. Danielle and Carolyn have been circling each other for episodes now, clearly understanding that they do not trust one another, and will need to remove the other if they have any hope of winning the game. And so they each got to work rallying the rest of the Faithful around attacking the other, leading to an epic Round Table showdown.
Again I will reiterate, I do not like Danielle. As a TV personality, she’s not for me. But as a player in this game, I thought her performance at this Round Table was very strong. She was fully prepared for her Carolyn takedown, and she did not blink. Essentially a repeat of the “Boston” Rob v. Bob the Drag Queen showdown in Episode 4, these two were at each others’ throats…but Carolyn was not able to articulate her defense or attack as successfully as Danielle. She simply wasn’t. She even admitted that she wasn’t ready. I thought Carolyn did a good job expressing herself emotionally, but her actual arguments were soft, and her defense no better.
And so, with an overwhelming number of votes (minus Sandoval and Dolores voting for one another, because they are unserious people), Queen Carolyn was banished, revealing herself to be a Traitor. Danielle got a huge boost going into the final episodes. But at least one player also raised an observation: it was so intense, that it almost felt like Traitor-on-Traitor violence. For those keeping score, two of the three Traitors who have been banished in this game were taken out by other Traitors. Like, actively targeted by and decisively prosecuted by their own team. That is how feckless the Faithful this season have been.
The episode ended with Danielle being forced to choose a Faithful who would receive an ultimatum: become a Traitor or die. And in the most obvious move of the game — and I really do want to underscore obvious — she of course picked Britney. I honestly think this was Danielle’s plan literally the entire game, at least since Bob the Drag Queen was eliminated. Go back and watch the first episode of this season, where there’s a whole moment about the two of them and their relationship post-Big Brother. This all feels like a sequel to a season of an entirely different show, a show I happen to loathe with every fiber of my being. And it’s just so dumb. And LAME. Is the argument that nobody would expect her to pick Britney because it is such a blatantly obvious move? Because I don’t think these Faithful (aside from Dylan) are going to overthink this situation to that degree. Most of them are barely thinking at all.
Next episode we find out if Britney will become a Traitor (she totally will), and we get to see the new Seer power in action. Hopefully it is at least somewhat interesting, because we are truly left with a sea of duds in this castle, and I don’t care about most of them one way or another. Best-case scenario for me right now is for Danielle and Traitor Britney to make it to the final ceremony, and for Britney to fuck over Danielle at the 11th Hour, taking all the money for herself. How I would HOWL!
What do you think of The Traitors Season 3? Drop your thoughts in the comments. The floor is yours!
